Sanders Sides Fanfiction: The Aftermath
by namelestrash
Summary: Deceit could do so much more than hide the truth from Thomas. Four days after Deceit's attack, Virgil still dealt with what he'd lost- and what the others had learned. Trigger warnings: death, mentions of self-hatred? (please tell me if I'm doing this wrong)


It had been four days since Roman died.

Sighing, Virgil got up from his chair and looked in the mirror he usually kept facing the wall. He barely even looked human anymore- eyes reddish pink from crying, the shadows under his eyes not from makeup but from lack of sleep... and then there were the scales. The scales usually hidden my the huge amounts of eyeshadow. The scales that marked him as a Dark Side, a villain, a mistake. The scales that had grown even brighter these last few days, as they always did when Virgil was feeling awful. Unable to keep staring at this person he didn't quite know anymore, Virgil turned his head towards the door.

He'd have to leave his room eventually- there wasn't any food in here. Still, he wasn't quite ready to face the other Sides. During the fight with Deceit, the anxious facet had had a panic attack- and the tears flowing out of his eyes had wiped off Virgil's eyeshadow. Virgil remembered how each of the others looked when they saw the scales- terrified, furious, betrayed. Even Thomas, who Logan and Patton would have surely told by now, wouldn't be able to forgive Anxiety.

Tired of doing nothing- even though that's how he spend most of his life up until this point- Virgil picked up a pen and paper and started to write down a list of things that could go wrong if he went outside his room.

They might kick me out.

They might hate me forever.

They might...

Virgil had already filled an entire page with worries when he stopped. All of these were things that the others might do- but that didn't make sense. Virgil should be the one the worries were about. He was the one who had the scales, after all. So why did he only write about Patton, Logan and Thomas?

Because if he focused on himself, everyone would hate him.

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey kiddo... it's me, Patton," Virgil heard the fatherly side say hesitantly, "It's been four days, and we haven't heard a peep from you. I was thinking maybe... maybe you might want to come downstairs? We're all really worried about you- Thomas thinks maybe you thought we were mad, but um- well, please come out of your room. Please," Patton pleaded before turning to walk away.

As the sound of footsteps grew quieter, Virgil closed his eyes and let his emotions run free- just for a few minutes, he told himself.

Minutes turned into hours and the anxious side was still curled up in a ball, crying his heart out.

* * *

The other sides could hear every sob coming from Virgil's room but decided not to come in; the last time Patton went into Virgil's room when the anxious facet was upset, Virgil had had a panic attack and it took him days to recover.

"I wish he would just- just talk to us about this," Patton sighed, "It must be so hard for him- harder for him than for us, even." The fatherly side hadn't felt like himself these past few days- he hadn't felt anything at all. The silence inside him was almost as terrifying as the memory of the snap Patton heard coming from the fanciful facet's neck as Deceit took Patton's friend away forever. Morality looked around Thomas's living room, unsure of what to say. He tugged at the cat hoodie tied around his shoulders- turned black instead of the usual light gray from the grief following Roman's death.

"I believe talking about what happened may indeed help him," Logan replied, "However, I also believe that Virgil is under the impression that we are angry with him. We may have to enter his room in order to help him."

Thomas stared at his toes. They weren't any more interesting than usual, but sifting through the details of his shoes felt much better than letting himself think about what happened. Thomas knew that Deceit was awful, but what he did to Roman... How could Thomas be a good person, deserving of all the fame and love the world gave him, if part of him actually liked hurting people?

Thomas didn't notice he was crying until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Patton? No. The hand on Thomas's shoulder belonged to his anxious facet.

"Virge!" Patton wrapped his arms around his dark strange son as tightly as he could, as if Anxiety would disappear if Patton let him go even for a moment. Virgil flinched at Patton's touch, then relaxed.

"You guys aren't… mad at me?" the anxious side asked. Maybe it was stupid for him to reveal that fear, to let them know he didn't trust them.

"Of course not. Your scales are simply a part of the physical form Thomas has imagined for you," Logan stated, adjusting his glasses.

"Oh," Virgil blinked. He shouldn't have stayed in his room for so long. He could have hurt Thomas. Why did he always act so selfish all the time? Why couldn't he-

"Hey, kiddo, you OK?"

Virgil looked up to see Patton had taken off his glasses and was studying the anxious facet with his eyes full of worry.

"Oh- yeah, I'm fine…" Virgil knew that wasn't true- none of the thoughts flowing through his head were at all fine. He was not fine. He needed a distraction, something to put all of his thoughts in a box to shove into the back of his mind. "Can- can I get a hug?"

Virgil didn't have to ask twice.


End file.
